Back Talk

I meant to do this before I left Utah, but I was way too busy. And I doubt texting to overseas numbers is very cheap, so this will probably be the last time I do this for a while. It's been a few months since my last list; so now, totally unedited, is...

Top Text Messages - Vol IV

1) Think im going to join the peace corps. Screw around with the natives, drink fermented goat milk...thats the way to go.
2) If you were me and i were you, then what would you be doing right now?
3) Its eight thirty in the morning. Im at a bar in a monkey costume.
4) Debbie gibson is playing at thrift towne. Wish u were here. ;)
5) I was thinking of u bc i'm wearing ur shirt - btw i'm not pooping - oh wait yes i am
6) My friend works at the gap in provo... And Lindsay Lohan came in...
7) When i drink alone, i prefer to be by myself.
8) Borat is funny... And better drunk. Not that i would know that.
9) Hemorrhoids keeping you up?
10) Ween is just about to rock out Bitch asses off!
11) Weeehooo! Thats a damn fine cup of coffee.
12) I'm officially un-unemployed now. YAY for me!
13) I drank 12 beers. Then i woke up this morning with a sticker on my penis that i cant take off.
14) Women. Boy howdy, they are a rowdy bunch.
15) Oh, btw i'm going 2 get a tattoo of mt rushmore but with the golden girls faces on it
16) College girls are the most fiendish instruments of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.
17) I'm in the bathroom at the Minneapolis airport trying not to have a wide stance!
18) I think I just saw the world's oldest living Lutheran at the Mall of America!
19) I got in my first bar fight. Seriously butch.
20) I suck at interviews. Im just going to let barnes and noble tattoo advertisements all over my body.
21) Herds a five letter word. Rhymes with my fav candy nerds. It means many of a group of land dwellers. Yummy!
22) At a hotel in missouri with a six pack and a pizza. Thats how i roll.
23) I have malls
24) Guiness is just as good in the morning.
25) So i went to try's for a beer last night... Yada Yada Yada i'm in las vegas
26) I just told John that if i didn't get a McDonalds m c rib that i was going to throw up!
27) Meow, meow, meow. I like pork gravy.
28) When u move 2 italy will u buy a 17th century haunted house ... Charis said she'd b ur house keeper
29) All vacations from now on will be taken in warm climates, where physical activity is frowned upon.
30) I heart nudity