Verbatim

It's been a while since this and this, but my phone is just about full of text messages once again. It's been over a year, so some might seem dated. Regardless, I give you...

Top Text Messages - Vol III

1) Ok contest tomorrow ... C how many people u can get 2 buy u a margarita 4 cinco de mayo
2) Congrats. You just received a sober text from jean-marie.
3) Madonna is three weeks away. Can you feel the excitement? She was great at Coachella. Bitch threw down.
4) Gregory@cartersvillemagazine.com/ow/You just won a complete Satalite System Call 866 704 8454 now ask for Kurtis
[Ed. Note: Who knew you could get spam via text? I love how they misspelled "satellite." I never called the number, but if any of you want to, let me know how it works out for you.]
5) You sandbaggin' son of a bitch
6) Im drunk again from brunch i think - how did this happen!
7) I just woke up at chicks house, hungover, and called in sick. 3 day weekend!
8) U should probably look behind u
9) I work with your commanders daughter... She's a stone fox.
10) I love walmart! I just saw a guy with a braided goatee and a baby slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. where else can you see that?!
11) We're eating in a trailer and there is banjo music in the background. Nice
12) Cool. Do you love long time?
13) Remember, God is a djay!
14) When you called me i was talking to some guy who was soliciting me for sex
15) Lol lots me partys this weekend
16) By the way did i mention i was naked?
17) Do they call it Hello Kitty in Japan or do they give another name for it?
18) Curtis + kenny chesney = TRUE LOVE!! Two little love birds sittin in a tree... ;)
19) I'm a little concerned with the fact that i'm at work already. and with the fact that my truck still hasnt turned into a transformer
20) Tiffany just asked if i had a hickey in front of everyone at lunch... I told them i ran into a door.
21) Bad news! 1 million easy bake ovens are being recalled! i guess i'm gonna have to stop cooking now :(
22) Damn! Why you so cool?
23) Missed work today. Woke up at my bartenders appt. Weird day.
24) Your getting a drunk text from me at the lazy bear weekend at the russian river lol
25) Changed my mind about lohan. She's just troubled and i shouldn't judge her.
26) Got peed on last night. Not in the fun way either.
27) I have an infatuation. Rachel. She gooooood lookin.
28) Dont touch my moustache.