When I was at the Shins show Wednesday night, I couldn't help but feel old. It was at the U of U campus, and nearly everyone there was in their early 20s. They were all attractive and had on cool clothes. They were all having interesting conversations full of depth and inside jokes. They all seemed so self-aware.
When I was 20, I was so freaked out by life. I'd already spent two years in college, but I had no clue who I was or what I wanted to do with myself. I knew what I liked about other people, but I didn't have any real identity of my own. It seemed everything about me was something I'd heard from an acquaintance or a movie. I was made up of stolen bits and pieces.
It took years before I developed any real sense of self. Over time, I could see the creature God was and is molding me into. My sense of humour. My disposition. My loyalties. My depth, or lack thereof. My personality. My hurts. My loves.
Sometimes it's so easy to focus on what others possess and we don't. It's been said that youth is wasted on the young, but I don't think I'd ever want to go back 10 years and live through all that again. God has me right here and right now for a reason. Perhaps one day He'll make me into a distinguished 60-something aristocrat driving a convertible along the Pacific Coast Highway with my trophy wife to our beach house in Malibu. Then again, perhaps not.
1 comment:
The HH is getting lonely with out you. You should come back.
............Please?
Well, I miss ya. You definitely liven a place up.
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