Dear Upstairs Neighbours,
You see, the way it works is, your floor is my ceiling. Therefore, when your three little hellions run full sprint from one end of the apartment to the other, it sounds like an 8.3 earthquake is going to take down the whole building. Now, don't get me wrong. I appreciate the fact that you have three boys under the age of ten living there, and they have lots of energy; but that's why God conveniently placed a park less than three blocks away, complete with swings and monkey bars. If these thuds, crashes, screams, and other loud noises continue to disturb me, I have an entire bottle of ether, and I know how to use it.
Hugs & Kisses,
Your Downstairs Neighbour
(Ah, more things that go through my head that I wish I had the balls to actually say.)
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