Friday, March 31, 2006

Proof of My Stupidity

As everyone knows, my crew and I hit up Rooster's every Thursday night. It's a given. And I'm not about to let a little thing like testing for Tech get in the way of my weekly brotherhood tradition. I just told myself that I'd have no more than two beers and still be in bed at a decent time.
Famous last words.
I rode with John to Rooster's. We got there around 6:30, and after a long day of boarding, the food tasted so good and the beer went down so smooth. By the time we left at 11, I'd had six, and was feeling pretty good.
But that wasn't the end. Oh, no.
The whole Rooster's staff was going to a bar called Good Times, and we all decided to tag along. I'd never been there, and I doubt I'll ever go again. It had to be one of the nastiest, dirtiest, white-trashiest, creepiest dives I've ever been to, and I've been to plenty. I decided to stop drinking, and John decided to start. After lots of conversation and karaoke and other random events, we left around 1:30. I was sober by then, and John was about to fall over, so I drove.
And here's where it gets really fun. As soon as I pulled out of the bar, I saw flashing lights behind me. Now, I've never, ever been pulled over in my entire life, and my first instinct was to freak out, but I handled things surprisingly well. Here's a paraphrase of the conversation:

Currt-Dawg: How ya doin'?
Trooper: Pretty good. Can I see your license and proof of insurance?
CD: Yes, ma'am. I'm driving his car.
T: Why is that?
CD: Because he's had a bit to drink.
T: Yeah, I can smell it. Have you had anything?
CD: A couple beers with dinner, but that was a few hours ago.
T: The reason I pulled you over is because the light for your license plate is out.
John: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'll get that fixed.
T: No problem. Are you in the military, sir?
CD: Yes, ma'am.
T: Just curious why you have an out-of-state license.
CD: Do you need to see my military ID?
T: No, that's fine. Hang on a sec. I'll be right back.
(Trooper goes back to her car.)
J: Holy shit!
CD: No big deal, man. I've never been pulled over before. It's kind of exciting.
J: I'm so sorry, man.
CD: It's okay.
(Trooper returns.)
T: I'm gonna need you to blow into this for me, sir.
CD: Okay.
(I start blowing into the little white tube attached to a little box.)
T: Keep blowing......and.....stop.
(She starts reading the breathalizer.)
T: How many beers did you have?
CD: Um, a couple.
T: And how long ago was that?
CD: We left the restaurant around 10.
T: Well, you must not have a very high tolerance. It's still going up.
(Very long pause.)
T: You blew a .05. The legal limit in Utah is .08. Just so you know, that's about the maximum amount of alcohol you can have and still drive. If you would have been pulled over right after dinner, you might not have been as lucky.
CD: Uh-huh.
T: Just be careful, sir.
CD: Yes, ma'am.
(Trooper walks back to her car and drives away.)
CD: (Exhales louder than he's ever exhaled in his entire life.)

So, yeah, that pause after she said, "It's still going up," was about the longest five seconds of my entire life. All I could think of was getting taken away in hand-cuffs and that it was a good thing I didn't study for Tech because it would have just been time wasted. I've always been really careful when it comes to driving after I've had a beer or two. I guess I'll just take this as a warning that I can never be too careful.
As far as my test, considering the circumstances of a) I haven't studied, b) I'm a little hung over, and c) I'm going on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep, I think I did pretty well. I was clueless on PFE stuff, but SKT was a breeze. I guess I'll find out for sure when the results come out in June. To be honest, I seriously doubt I made it, and I'll kick myself for not studying. But who knows? Maybe my method of making pictures out of the little circles really works.

2 comments:

Trish said...

craziness, pure craziness

Kerry said...

you told that story so well...! love it!