My Heart Is My Worst Enemy

One of my biggest fears is being old and alone, yet that seems exactly where I'm headed. I'm incapable of romantic relationships. I don't express my feelings, and I'm emotionally unavailable. I'm selfish, stubborn, and lazy. Relationships take a certain amount of effort I'm just not willing to give. All these mistakes I've learned in the past, but I can't do anything to correct them. I think that by not saying anything, I'm not hurting anyone; but the result is the opposite. I should just be friends with everyone. I have no problem being asexual for the rest of my life. (Did I just say that?)