You'd think that since we only have six days left, I'd be all joyful and excited; but for some reason, I've been really on edge and short-tempered. I had hoped things would slow down a bit as we prepared to leave, but it's actually the opposite. I have even more to take care of, and when other people can't keep up, I get frustrated. Some of my guys weren't prepared for the day, which set me off on a mini-rampage of cold dialogue and curt responses. Later in the morning, I realised it was just ridiculous and made apologies for my rudeness.
On a related note, it's strange how I'm not that excited to get home. I mean, a month ago, it was all I could think about. But now that the time is at hand, I'm pretty numb to the whole idea. Maybe my mind is fatigued from thinking about home. Maybe I'm so deep into my routine that the whole thought of out-processing and flying just seems like a huge inconvenience. Maybe the friends I've made here are making me want to stay. Maybe it's because JoAnn, Cheyenne, Chelsea, Dan, and several others won't be there when I get back. I'm sure once I get on the plane, though, I won't be able to stop smiling.
There have been tons of changes back at Aviano, and there will be even more after we get back. I'm very susceptible to post-deployment depression, which is often induced by job stress. It should kick in by the end of July, and I've found the best way to get through it is to stick with a routine, work hard, exercise a lot, and be around as many friends as possible. I hope I remember that advice to myself when I can't get out of bed.
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