You know, I feel like I just can't deal with this pain much longer. Now I've got two people ignoring me. I don't know what conversations are going on, but I really feel betrayed. We were both at a party earlier tonight, and eye contact was made, albeit briefly, and that was it. I felt like such a loser until Melissa showed up. She says just to let it go, and I'd really like to, but it's just one of those stupid things that I keep holding on to. I'm debating on just walking up to them both, shaking them, and asking what the fucking deal is. I just want to save the friendship. I mean, aren't I at least allowed an explanation?
So, yeah, today was Thanksgiving, and it was okay, I guess. I laid on my couch until about 2:30, then got up, showered, and went to my troop's house for a couple hours. It was really nice, and there are certain people from work that I like hanging out with outside of work, most of whom were present. Then I went to the Hospitality House. At first, I really didn't feel the vibe, and I kept thinking about leaving, but I didn't, and I'm glad I didn't because I ended up having a good time. The best part, though, is going to be tomorrow night when we decorate the Christmas tree. This is the event that really puts me in the Spirit each year. That's the way it's always been since I was a kid. I remember going to my grandparents house with the whole family and we always made such a big deal about trimming the tree. I think it's because so much of Christmas is all about the anticipation and the build up. The tree is just what really sets it all off. But, I digress. So anyway, I stayed at the HH until 10-ish, then went to the aforementioned party. The main reason I wanted to go to the party, though, was because my friend Chappy, who PCS'd to Yakota a few months ago, is back in town this weekend, and he was there. So either way, it was great to see him again. But as far as the original issue, right now I'm just feeling so emotionally wasted. I'm torn between a) just trying to ignore the whole issue and remove myself from it all (which is near impossible) and b) growing a pair and getting all confrontational (which probably won't happen). Frustration. Hurt.
Okay, I'm really tired right now, so I'm gonna hit the sack. Sorry if this entry has been a little random. Take care. No worries. God Bless.