A few weeks ago, I typed up this e-mail to a couple friends of mine, but never sent it. It's been sitting in my "Drafts" folder for quite a while now. And the way it looks, I'll probably never send it. I think it's one of my better essays, so, I figured, instead of letting it go to waste, I'll just post it here, totally unedited. Enjoy!

I've heard it said that people are strange when you're a stranger. Well, when you think about it, we're all strangers. Nobody really knows anybody. (I think I heard that in a movie recently.) I mean, I talk to people, and tell them about what goes on in my head, but do they really know me? Can they predict what decision I'm going to make at any given time upon encountering a certain problem or opportunity. I seriously doubt there's anyone I truly know. There are people with whom I've been friends for years that still surprise me from time to time. I constantly have this fear in the back of my mind that no one is being completely honest with me about how they feel. Even close friends, when asked why they chose a particular option or path, won't tell me anything other than, "I don't know," which is total bullshit. Of course they know. They are either too lazy to go into it, or they fear my reaction to their truest feelings. How can we be expected to have healthy relationships amongst each other when we can't even be honest? I mean, other than a solid relationship with God, the best thing we can attain in this world is healthy relationships with our brothers. And when I say "brother," I don't mean like an actual brother. I mean it in the way black people use it, which is more meaningful, I think. (Did you like my comic relief there?) Regardless, healthy relationships don't just happen on their own. We have to work at them. We have to be willing to risk being hurt. We have to love. Love isn't just a feeling. It's a choice. As of this moment, I am choosing to love each of you to the best of my abilities. Now, I know that I will probably get emotionally hurt or upset. Not to be rude, but you guys aren't perfect, nor am I. If you choose to rely on me and expect me to be 100% honest with you, you're going to be disappointed. But that's what it takes. I'm willing to take that risk. You guys are my best friends here at Misawa, and I don't want it to be some kind of stupid, superficial kind of bond. I want us to be able to grow together and have meaningful experiences.

Okay, so now as I look back on this essay, I feel I should make a comment or two. I guess knowing someone is a little more than just being able to predict what they're going to do. I mean, if I knew beforehand everything somebody was going to do and say, then that would make our relationship rather boring. Variety is the spice of life, right? So that part may have been a little off, but I still stand by the whole "love is a choice" part.
Yeah, so I'm not sure why I decided to post that. I have plenty to write about. I had one of the best weekends I've had in a while. Friday night, a bunch of us from the HH played wally-ball, then hung out until way late. Saturday was Bible Study, which, I thought went pretty well. I mean, it never goes as well as I think it should. Like, when I'm planning it, I have this ideal sequence of events in my head, which somehow never ends up happening. Regardless, Saturday was probably the apex of my Bible Study leading abilities. After that, I went downtown with my friends Melissa and Ryan, who have been dating for about a week and a half. We just tossed back a few beers at various bars, then went back to Ryan's room. I didn't get home until 6 AM. I rarely have late nights like that, but they're fun every so often. I slept until noon on Sunday, which, I think, is the latest I've ever slept in my life. For some reason, it's just not in my nature to sleep late. Then I watched "The Spanish Prisoner" and "Shakespeare in Love." Both are excellent movies. TSP is just a good mystery, fun to watch, and intriguing to figure out. SIL is one of those movies that just makes me feel good. It makes me want to be in love. At Church last night, I finally saw James "Smurphy" Murphy, who I haven't seen in almost a year. It was great to see him again and hang out and catch up. After Church, I went to the HH, ate, and then went to karaoke with Abby, Jean-Marie, Jeni-Bomb, Smurphy, Biscuit, Jimmy, Laura, and Karen. So much fun! Then, last night, I had this really weird dream. I guess the planet had been taken over by aliens, and they brainwashed most of the people, or lobotomized them, or something. And I was with these other people that had somehow escaped, kind of like rebels. And we were living in these camps and trying to hide out. The general mood of everyone was really tense. I can't really remember any of the details, unfortunately.
Okay, I've really rambled on too long. I have some work to finish and several briefings to attend today. Luckily, this is only a three-day work week. I'm so looking forward to a long weekend of restoration and relaxation. Take care. No worries. God Bless.