Tuesday, December 02, 2003

I'm so sick of all this crap. I'm sick of being ignored. I'm sick of being stood up. I'm sick of having faith in my friends and being let down. I'm sick of all this self-loathing.
I don't think there's anything I can write that I haven't written before, so I'll go into something new, and try to quit dwelling on all this negative stuff. The weekend was decent. The best part was Friday night when we decorated the Christmas tree at the HH. In other news, Abby found out yesterday she made Senior Airman Below the Zone. She's so involved in everything, it's kind of a given. Regardless, I'm still proud of her. We were e-mailing back and forth yesterday, and then I got this weird e-mail from the other airman in her office asking me about friends dating and stuff. It makes me wonder if she and Abby were talking about it. So the airman girl pretty much told me that she thinks Abby and I should go out. I really don't think so, though. I mean, there was a time when I thought about it, but now I think the odds are just stacked against it. A) she's leaving in February. B) I like being friends with her, and I don't want to jeopardize it. C) she's much more conservative than I am. D) I don't think I could be totally honest with her. So, yeah, I guess that's about it.
Why do we feed on hurt and anger? I don't want to feel this way, but I just wallow in it.
I had a dream last night that I moved into a new house, and it was really nice. It was extra strange because I was getting ready to PCS, and my parents were visiting, and I was all worried about painting the walls in my old house before I left. Why would I move into a new house a week before I PCS? Craziness. Okay, I'm gonna get back to work. Take care. No worries. God Bless.

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