Sunday, August 09, 2009

Looking for the Crest of the New Wave

Originally uploaded by currtdawg
Over the past few years, I've tried to look back on the events in my life with a more analytical point of view. The good things that happen--what did I do to cause them? The bad things--what can I do to avoid them in the future? What's beyond my control? Which risks should I take and which should I avoid? It's all a big learning experience, and even though I feel like I'm getting smarter about my choices, I'm also getting more laid back with them. Less stress over my mistakes and greater joy for my victories.
The past year has been one of unimaginable joy. I'm feeling more at home in Italy, enjoying work, and branching out socially. I'm taking advantage of things that come my way, and becoming less hesitant about what lies beyond my scope of vision. And even in the areas in which I need some work, I've been able to catch myself before things go too far. Well, most of them, anyway.
Still, in many ways, I'm a huge mystery to myself. How can I keep myself from wanting what I can't have? Why do I keep myself so guarded and emotionally unavailable? In what areas do I need more discipline? I may never be able to fully answer these questions, but I'm going to have fun trying.

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