I find myself becoming numb. My emotions are disappearing. I don't get excited or upset or happy or depressed. The only thing I'm feeling is a general sense of apathy. Ben and Abby are leaving soon, and it's not like I don't want them to stay, but I'm having a hard time working up feelings of grief. I'm going to have to make a major decision pretty soon about whether or not to stay in the Air Force, but thinking about it is not a priority. My cousin is going through a major drug problem, but praying for him isn't at the top of my list of things to do. I hate all this middle-of-the-road bullshit. I'd rather be ice cold than luke warm.