I think I'm shallow. I don't want to be shallow. At times, I think I have profound, intellectual thoughts, but then I read something C.S. Lewis or Phillip E. Johnson or Bret Easton Ellis wrote, and wonder if my mind will ever be able to conceive such notions. I hear music from Mozart or Radiohead (I know that's a broad spectrum), marveling at how God has chosen these people to deliver his voice, and hope I will one day compose such beautiful harmonies. Is this something with which I'm born? There's some things you can be taught (i.e. grammar, math, etc.), but then there's the other stuff. Is this something that will come with time and experience? Will I just have to settle for being average? How do I become un-shallow? I've tried pretending. I talk to people about the depth of song lyrics or films or books, but a lot of it is just regurgitated critiques. I let the media decide what I like. Is it something that will enter my brain when all the other useless stuff goes away? Either way, I need to get all the sin crap out of my mind, starting with my materialism and lust. Those are my biggest vices, and they're both totally useless. They cause me to spend money on stupid things and fill my mind with stupid thoughts, leaving me hollow, but still wanting more. Even as I write, I have windows open for Amazon.com and Polo.com. Will I never learn? I guess it's all about disciplining myself. Don Weber gave me a book called "The Celebration of Discipline," but I haven't the discipline to read it. Kind of a catch-22, huh? No worries. God Bless.