Completely Indescribable

So, I know this may come as a surprise to you, but actually, I really don't go to all that many death metal concerts. All the moshing and aggression and screaming is just not my bag. However, when a band like Gwar comes to town, you just have to go. With me were Ken, a guy in my shop, and Stephanie, a girl who was on RST with me.
There were three opening bands, and I don't think I could name any of them. All I know is one had the word "devil" in it. There was lots of moshing and punching and screaming, away from which I tried to stay, but I still managed to get bumped around a bit.

Gwar Singer
Originally uploaded by currtdawg.

When Gwar came out, everyone went crazy. I was inadvertantly pushed toward the front of the crowd. People were packed so tight, there were periods of several seconds each where my feet didn't touch the floor. I just tried to think of it as a big group hug.

Gwar Bassist
Originally uploaded by currtdawg.

Now, for those of you not familiar with Gwar, they're not really like any other metal band around. They take the spectacle of the live show to new heights. One might compare them to Kiss or Slipknot, but Gwar is in a category all its own. Their set is decked out in bones and guts. They dress in big alien monster costumes. They talk about death and destruction, and they're purposefully controversial. However, there's nothing scary about it. It's all set up like a severely demented children's program, and it's kinda funny.

Gwar Guitarist & Security Guards
Originally uploaded by currtdawg.

When they first came out, they brought with them a guy dressed like the pope, except his outfit was all red and covered in swastikas. He chopped the head off another guy, and covered everyone in blood. For the second song, they brought out George Bush. They also chopped of his head, which covered us again. The next was Dick Cheney. I guess Dick had it easy. They only ripped out his heart. Next was Sharon Osborne. The ripped her clothes off, and mangled her breasts. The final victim was Michael Jackson. Michael's face was ripped off, and his penis was detached. In each of these little rampages, which spanned the course of the entire show, we were covered in blood and other various coloured liquids, which I won't describe further. And each time something was sprayed, it went on for at least four or five minutes, just to make sure everyone got it equally. During all this, they also referred to Utahns as "a bunch of inbred, mutated freaks" and said several cruel things about Mormons. But you know, it was all so absurd, I just couldn't help but laugh the whole time.

As for the aftermath, well, I'll just say we looked like extras from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Most of us having attended a Gwar show before, we were smart enough to bring towels. I've taken three showers since I got home, and my face and hands are still purple. When I took my contacts out, even they were purple. I wore old jeans and a black t-shirt, but I think next time (should there be one), I'll wear a white t-shirt to save kind of as a war trophy.
To those even remotely curious about Gwar, I recommend checking out their website. Particularly funny is the "mythos" link, which tells the story of their origin, and the band member blogs. It's obvious these guys don't take themselves too seriously, nor do I.