You may recall my Top 25 Text Messages - Volume I from last December. Well, my phone is full again, so, as promised...
Top Text Messages - Vol II
1) Please tell me you were not one of the victims of my drunken texting last night.
2) U r cordially invited 2 a non-party party honoring the illustrious rachel a week from thursday next ... Please bring a bucket of mixed paint
3) Hey! would a straight jacket make a person not gay anymore?
4) Whatcha gonna do with all that junk inside that trunk?
5) Seven golden bears say hello!
6) There's a kid on oprah imitating a valasoraptor! Ur's is better!
7) It smells like fast food ass n my car!
8) Tag ur it! Ur mine. Today is national CLAIM A BITCH DAY. So ur my bitch. See how many you can get. No tag backs
9) Your times i might have the duty
[Ed. Note: This one had nothing to do with our conversation and just doesn't make any sense to me; therefore, I find it humourous.]
10) In his state of the union address tonight, the president is going to say he likes Brokeback Mountain, and he thinks we should drill for oil there too
11) Good morning starshine the earth says hello!
12) Come make love to my leg...
13) My book compares the immune system with branches of the military...You are a t cell!
14) How losery am i ... I'm at the mall it's not even open yet so i'm walking amidst the mall walkers over 60 club
15) Kentucky just tried to kill me! but it failed
16) My parents are on my ass like trailer trash on velvetta
17) Today is national good looking person day. Send this to someone gorgeous. Don't send it back to me, i've received hundreds.
18) I NEED U! I'm at a concert alone!!
19) I want to marry myself
20) I think my karaoke days are over
21) I'have an announcement........i'm drunk
22) U need this n ur business!
[Ed. Note: This was actually a picture-text from Abs that was taken when I was down in Texas in January. And the text that was with it is great. I don't really remember taking the picture, so I must have had a few or something.]
23) Kids are loud and you cant understand a damn thing they say. they're like tiny cab drivers
24) Sorry 4 the very forceful weak kiss.
25) My biggest fear is that ill miss a thursday at roosters...
26) Look at me! i'm in Kentucky!
27) I had a dream last night that we moved to this house in the middle of nowhere. Everyone... You and me and josh and caleb... Everyone. And the house was haunted or something. Anyway in the end you said... I know why everyone died... They got carbon monoxide poisoning. It was really strange. Yea. It was pretty creepy at the beginning but in the end you saved the day. How's life been?
1 comment:
I feel so special! 4 of your 27 top texts are from me! BITCHIN! That's a whopin 14.815%! I guess that's not a lot, but still! 4!!! I'm just disappointed that I felt compelled to make 50% of my texts, or 7.407% of them about Kentucky...but damn if it didn't try to kill me as soon as I crossed the Ohio river!!!
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