Reasons I Broke Up With Former Girlfriends:

Carolynn (1991 - 1992): I don't remember, but I'm sure it was something stupid. It also ended up being right before my senior prom, prompting me to ask Renee (a former crush), which ended up being a bigger mistake than if I'd stayed home, but that's a different story.

Julie (1992 - 1993): We didn't exactly date exclusively, but we might as well have. She was a senior. I was a freshman. She graduated. Last I heard, she changed her name to Veronica.

Anna (1993 - 1994): She broke up with me on a Wednesday. I came back from class Thursday to find her having sex with my roommate / best friend. They're now married and have two children. There was bitterness for a while, but we're on good terms now.

Jenny C. (1994 - 1995): I wanted to go out with Jennifer B. I was still angry over the whole Anna thing, and I treated Jenny like shit. It was a bad thing to do, and I'm sorry. If I ever see her again, I'll apologise.

Jennifer B. (1995): We never formally broke up. The whole thing just kinda faded away. I found out later the whole time she was dating me, she was having sex with one of my fraternity brothers. Man, what a dick.

Meredith (1996 - 1998): Probably one of the bigger mistakes I've made was breaking up with Meredith. We had talked of getting married, but I think I was just restless. I was in Vegas and she was in Kentucky / Illinois / Ohio. I think my only beef with her was that she referred to Sleater-Kinney as "Slater-Shmater."